daemonluna

Hmm, time to clear out my links file and start anew with the *cough* nine windows of open tabs.

Addams Family/Angel, Her Beauty and Her Terror Wednesday/Harmony. Amanda Buckman moved to California, changed her name, and became a vampire. Wednesday can't help but approve. "It has in fact been a decade since Wednesday had Amanda Buckman tied to a stake and doused with kerosene. She remembers the fear in her eyes as she struck the match. Wednesday may not have changed - she is older and her chest finally filled out, a lot - but Amanda, she can see, is truly no more. The soul is gone, and in its place something darker, older. It's quite disturbing to think of that girl, that pretty, blonde girl as she knew her that Summer, becoming a creature of the night. Wednesday, naturally, approves."

DS, On Strike "Frannie is sick of guys. The way they smell, the way they don't listen, the way they either hit on you like you're a piece of meat or ignore you like you're a nun. They don't notice when you dress up for them, they never know when you need a compliment, they don't respect you, see who you really are, all your potential that's just bursting out all over. Men. They're pathetic. Frannie's on strike. No more men." Frannie/Meg Thatcher.

HCL, untitled fic Postfilm, and Joe's still messing around with Billy's things. She sits down on one of the flat rocks. Feels warm. “Who are you?” “Call me Joe. We’re gonna go a long way, you and me,” he says with a grin.


HP, Are You There, God? It's Me, Draco Harry and Draco are straight Aurors. Then they're gay teachers. It makes sense in context."Of course, they hadn't actually been holding hands. A melting hex cast by one of the spies had bound their wrists together by the skin, and neither of them had had time between briefings and debriefings to get to a Healer to get it fixed. Wizard press had never been particularly hampered by the burdens of proof and truth, however, and so the Evening Prophet headlines had screamed GAY AURORS IN LOVE and much had been made of the epic tale of Harry's and Draco's supposedly-former schoolboy enmity which had, in a long-standing tradition embraced by romance novel readers and writers everywhere, gradually morphed into a deep, passionate, frequently sweaty love." Post-OOTP, no spoilers for DH.

HP, End of the Line Hell was, Snape decided, a crowded railway platform. DH spoilers!

HL/Angel, Antiquaires, "In which there are quips, a book, a sword, an immortal who cannot die, an erstwhile rogue demon hunter, and an unknown quantity of scotch." Methos/Wesley.

Shrek, Snow White and the Treasures of Beauty Sleeping Beauty/Snow White. "It was strange having breakfast without the dwarves arrayed around her table, making as much noise as seven - now six - little men wanting to sound bigger than they were could. It was quiet here, with nothing but birdsong and a slight purring snore to emphasize the lack of song and noisy eating. She moved Beauty's head slightly to get to the toast, feeling her heart move in quite a new kind of tenderness."

SGA/Torchwood, A Ring in the Black Sea She did not pair with people of her own tribe, because that would cause conflict among them. She did not pair with her team for the same reason, although Rodney and Ronon--but not John, not for women, at least--were passionate men and would, she was sure, be willing. And she did not have time to seek a companion among the others on Atlantis. She still did not understand their exhausting sexual taboos. "Come," Teyla said. "Let us find a bed." Het and slash and sheer awesomeness!

SPN, And this is Home "The east block is the nicest. Dean hasn’t seen the cells in the other wings, but by his estimation they’ll either have crappy views or miss the sunlight entirely. His cell has a good view of the church and if you really crane your neck, when the sun rises, you can see the light glinting off the stained-glass windows; it’s like a ripple of ruby and emerald and sapphire. Dean prefers to stare out the window at that first thing rather than the blacktop wasteland of the exercise yard, listening to the creak of the link-chain fence that surrounds it." Gen.

Torchwood, The Supply of Time "Listen to me," Jack breathes in his ear. "You're not meant to be bachelor Uncle Ianto forever, alone with his young, secret lover until he dies. You're not meant to fall to a Weevil, or to come back to life again and again because I can't stand for anything else. Get out, Ianto, while we've had a good run that hasn't been spoiled by your stubborn refusal to see that things are finished, that you're done here."

Transformers/SPN More than Meets the Eye, Wincest. "The yellow robot was reaching down for them, and all of a sudden the Impala backed up a few paces, smacked her hood down and her doors shut, and then she was unfolding rapidly and standing up and up and up, gleaming black and silver, and she reached out and grabbed the yellow robot's hand before he could touch them. 'They're mine,' she said firmly." Now with fanart!

Transformers/SPN Look What My Baby Can Do "He’s stuck between instantaneous glee and horror, because Dean’s standing right next to the impala robot, and aren’t all giant car robots evil?" Gen.

Here, have some random fic links.

DS, The Food of Love In which Ray runs a catering company, and Fraser is having a wedding to be catered. AU.

DS, Pas de Deux In which Ray runs a dance studio, and Fraser takes lessons.

Heroes, Traces Hiro/Ando. "He would have three different apartments in New York City, and he knew their locations and color schemes, their narrow horror-movie hallways and pervasive odors. Some patterns were harder to grasp, however. Twin beds in the first apartment, exchanged for one creaky queen-size that engulfed his third New York bedroom. Sounds in the bathroom that he couldn't account for as he spied on his own future habits."

House/SG1, Hotel Sex Daniel/House. "Inevitably, Dr. Jackson comes looking for him. House has moved over to the buffet. There's shrimp. He has, so far successfully, defended the shrimp bowl from unwanted incursion. Unfortunately, it's impossible to juggle the needs of a drink, a silly little plate, and his cane, so he can either eat or keep moving." (And make sure you click through the link at the end to get to the epilogue-y bit afterwards.)

Torchwood/Jeeves and Wooster Timely Advice "Mr. Harkness, I regret to inform you that Mr. Wooster will be unable to accept your interesting invitation, as I have taken the liberty of disposing of your note without informing him of it. R. Jeeves"

Torchwood, That Old Black Magic "Ianto makes coffee, drinks coffee, shares coffee, buys coffee, spills coffee, ruins coffee, loses all taste for the stuff, and learns a few things along the way."

And now, I really should go to bed. Good god, I need a weekend.

Gah, I work two evenings in a row, and if I'm not careful, I can really screw up my sleep patterns. This week, not so much with the careful.

Much SGA here, undoubtedly more to come.

SGA, This Honor Is Generally Bestowed Posthumously, aka Gashleycrumbing On The Edge Of Oblivion, or, Rodney plays the Alphabet of Death game. Snippet.

SGA, Never should Do a SGA story in pictures.

SGA, Audio fic: One Life to Ascend To "Despite Rodney's snide comments about how of course John would be the one to discover the Ancient equivalent of television and bring about the decay of all possible scientific efficiency on Atlantis, John's suddenly everybody's best friend for having figured out that the white, spherical orbs that appear when you touch the pale square on the night tables makes pictures and noise."

SGA, Love, War, and Reunions Lorne's family comes from a very small town.

SGA, Reality "McKay was the perfect object for a crush you never intended to do anything about."

SGA, Twelve Things They (Will Someday) Say in the Pegasus Galaxy "3. Sure, the Wraith are gone. But they say the bugs they came from still exist. Uh huh. This is the gate address. Terik’s brother and his friend went and saw them. Killed one, too. Bet you couldn’t. Dare you." These feel like urban legends--that friend-of-a-friend word of mouth kind of storytelling, with some real skin-crawling uncertain creepiness.

SGA, The Bee-Charmer Teyla/Ronon "Teyla danced with nearly every man present, and in the midst of it all she stopped thinking of Ronon and so did not see how long he watched before disappearing into the night again." Lovely and lyrical.

SGA, Timeless "The rain started hours ago, sending lesser scientists scurrying for cover, cursing the vagaries of time and weather while Rodney jerked his jacket over his head and pushed on, dirt turned to mud slopping cold around his thighs, knees sinking into the puddle like quicksand." Lovely snippet.

SGA, Twenty Random Facts About Atlantis 1. There’s a working ZPM recharger in McKay’s lab. It was mislabelled as a broken Ancient hairdryer. They’ll find it one day. (But the idiot who mislabelled it will have been Wraithed by then.)

SGA, Kept By Ourselves In Silence and Apart McKay had complained bitterly from the moment they were taken prisoner until the first time they took him away. When they brought him back he was beat up and quiet. Ronon had asked him if he was okay. McKay had said: "No." and when Ronon came over to look at him he said: "Don't." Ronon/Rodney

SGA, Ring Out the Bells Sora/Teyla "Sora bit into an Athosian fruit, red and firm-fleshed. The spurt of tartness shocked her. She caught Teyla's eyes across the table and licked the juice from her fingers. Her heart tripped over itself, racing."

La, la, la. Down to twelve windows of tabs instead of fourteen. Expect more fic recs sporadically, as I get to it.

BtVS, The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking Oz/Xander "This is Daniel. Daniel's eighteen years old, a pretty bad bass player and a pretty good Duke Nukem player, and his friends call him Oz. When he was a kid, his friends were geeks and nerds. When he got to high school, he was friends with the same geeks and nerds, but now they played instruments which made them cool, somehow. About a year ago, he made friends with a new set of geeks and nerds, but this group fought demons instead of playing instruments. Usually Daniel -- shall we call him Oz, as his geeky, nerdy friends do? -- is very easygoing, but lately he's been quite the cranky puppy."

Discworld femmeslash ficlets, City Watch and Monstrous Regiment characters.

Discworld/HL, Death and Taxes The hair on the back of his neck stood to attention, but his body, better-trained, remained in the sprawling, curiously graceful seated position on the sand. "I haven't talked to you in years," he said, grateful for the terror that numbs the senses.
MY, YES, IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME. NOT SINCE YOU WERE USING MY NAME, I BELIEVE.

DW, Waiting to Happen Ten/Rose, "For once it all goes according to plan. There are no alien invasions, no startling discoveries of history gone awry. Just the two of them amidst the throngs of carefree tourists on holiday, just the two of them blending in."

DW, when she came back she was nobody's wife Rose/Rose "She turns a corner and it's her room, but she's already in it. The other her raises a finger to her lips, and she clutches the object in her hand convulsively rather than let it fall and raise an alarm. (She trusts herself instinctively, even if time travel has taught her so much more than that). The other her smiles, lips wide, gleaming rows of teeth, and it's a predator's smile, but she can't help smiling back."

DW/SGA, Taking Time "It didn’t really matter what he called himself as far as John was concerned, he just wanted to know if they were about to be invaded by cheerful Englishmen in blue police cubicles."

GA, Palimpsest "This is them, together. This is Addison, curled around Meredith while she talks and talks about everything and anything but the fact that she's lying in her ex-boyfriend's bed and his wife is running her fingers over the curve of her hipbone."

Good Omens fanart, What is it good for? Pepper, War. Hee.

House, Maui Gold Wilson takes House home for dinner with the parents. "No, not that. That," House said, pointing at Wilson's left hand. "You appear to have a growth on your ring finger. Looks like precious metal. Either I need to start mining you, or you're wearing your wedding ring." "Oh, that," Wilson replied nonchalantly, pointedly keeping his eyes anywhere but on House. "So?" "Well, I just thought that wearing one symbolically declared your eternal love for your significant other. And that thing hasn't left the windowsill in my kitchen for the past three weeks, so I'm assuming your parents don't know about Julie yet," House said carefully.

House snapshot "It starts when House spends a solid forty minutes looking for his Xbox, he sees the Post-It note on the back of Wilson's DVD player saying: CONSIDER THIS YOUR COMEUPPANCE."

House, Eight Days "The Macramé for Dummies book is crammed between three sets of referral paperwork and a note from transcription. Wilson stares at it half a beat before he opens the cover and a note drops out. It reads HAPPY JEW CHRISTMAS in House's distinctively disastrous handwriting."

I Want to Go Home (Kormanslash), This is going to be A Very Long Summer Rudy/Mike. "In the course of his friendship with Rudy Miller, Mike Webster had seen some terrible things – dawn over a small lake in Ontario from the vantage point of a rapidly disintegrating raft; a conga line of camp counsellors, red-faced and jovial, shaking their collective tails to ‘Lion Sleeps Tonight’ led by Rudy himself; on innumerable occasions, the cumulative garbage created by 200 or so healthy young males trapped on an island together; and, though thankfully only blurrily recollected, on the weekend after they graduated high school, the interior of what Mike was pretty sure was a bar full of transsexuals in lumberjack shirts. None of these had really prepared him for the horror that met his eyes as he stepped off the bus at the Camp Algonkian Island dock." Rudy and Mike are clones for the summer. Awesomely perfect in both tone and plot.

Jeeves and Wooster, Jeeves and an Excess of Prudence "After this, an onlooker might have observed a certain froideur in the atmosphere chez Wooster, despite Jeeves’ customary inscrutableness and my own decision to sweep the whole thing under the rug. The camaraderie between us had been put on the back burner, so to speak. Thinks were strained. All was not right with the state of Denmark. Jeeves took to acting as if I was something rather disgusting he would prefer not to have to look at. As time progressed, and the Suit and Prudence continued to hold sway, his “Indeed sir?” began to acquire a tone which would have chilled lemonade." Slash.

Jeeves and Wooster, The Matter of the Bed "Really, sir, I fear that you might find cause for admonition were I to serve as your bedfellow," Jeeves said.

Narnia/Muppets I'm going to go back there someday "Once upon a time there were many Muppets living in a very big house. And four of those Muppets were Kermit, Piggy, Pepe, and Gonzo. Gonzo was not the smallest- that would be Pepe- but he was the strangest, and sometimes he felt very alone. After all, all the other Muppets knew what they were: frog, pig, king prawn. But Gonzo was just a Gonzo. He didn't quite fit in. One day, all the Muppets were playing Hide and Seek in their house..."

SPN, Two For One Pairing: Threesome -- Dean/Brandy/Brandy's friend from Provenance. "So when it became crystal clear after a couple of beers, a phone number and a surprisingly strong grip high up on his thigh that Brandy ("with a Y") and her friend Tania ("with an I") were perfectly willing to come as a package deal, it seemed only fair to offer the blonde to Sam. Sam liked blondes. Dean liked brunettes. It didn't take higher math to figure out which one to toss Sam's way."

SPN, When Siblings eAttack
Imp67: is this sam
Imp67: sam winchester who is soooooo hot
SamIAm: Whoever this is, I'm really busy right now. If you have something to say...
Imp67: i heard you can suck whole watermelons through a garden hose
SamIAm: HEY. WTF?
Imp67: And you're so badass when you're at a loss for words, Sammy
SamIAm: GODDAMNIT DEAN

Not so sekrit message to drakkenfyre: found that SGA fic I mentioned last night. Feeding Frenzy, anyone/everyone. Seriously not work-safe. Cracktastic, vague spoilers for Siege 3.

(Me? Glad I've compulsively tagged everything? Yes. *g*)

My new computer, it is waiting to be picked up! *happy dance* I'm minorly annoyed because I didn't get any notification from Purolator that it was there, and found out by checking my online order status. Also, the pick-up place is only open M-F, 10am-6pm. But realistically, I still have to spend a day or so sorting out and backing up everything on my current hard drive, and cleaning up my incredibly messy desk, etc.

That being said, I have the usual eclectic mess of recs and links:

Battlestar Galactica/[Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Stargate Atlantis, Sports Night, Alias], Domo Arigato "Look," Izzie said. "We're all really stressed right now. We all handle it different ways. Cristina moved in with Dr. Burke, I'm having sex with Alex, Meredith's having sex with... everyone... [...] Look, if George needs to think he's a robot, I think that's a perfectly valid choice." Izzie smiled at him. (Insanely, cracktastically brilliant!)

Barbie, Doll Parts Femmeslash, yay! "The thing about Barbie is that she's not as dumb as she looks."

SGA, Out of Bounds Fantastically cracktastic figure skating AU. (which mockingspike should read and tell us what he thinks, because that's the kind of t hing we make him do.)
Part one: 'Get back out there.' – 'No. I'm taking up hockey. It'll *hurt* less.'
Part two: 'So why do we have to skate in the nude again?'
Part three: Naturally, John had brought the boom box but had forgotten to bring any music.
Part four: Rodney wondered if John knew 'Mustang Sally' was a favorite with strippers the world over.
Part five: 'This is hero worship, isn't it?'
Part six: 'Me coach. You student. You keep forgetting that lately.'
Part seven: It was just hockey, not a cardinal sin.
Part eight: I'm sure when we were being chased by sabre-toothed tigers we did all kinds of neat tricks.
Part nine: 'You want to be alone?' Kim-the-unutterably-stupid asked.


SGA, The Illustrated Rodneysaurus I know I've linked to this before, but this one has pictures. Pictures!

SGA fanart, Steampunk Victorian London

Dan Brown, Cover Your Eyes: Gay Porn 'Da Vinci' Adaptation to Be Released Same Day as Ron Howard's 'Da Vinci Code' (reads premise) (dissolves into helpless giggles)

This one's also for mockingspike: Flashbacky Filky Things

The Calls of Cthulhu (looking at alessar...)
SOLICITOR: Hello, Mr. Cthulhu?
CTHULHU: Yes?
SOLICITOR: Do you have good car insurance?
CTHULHU: I am an Elder God of the Damned. I don't need that simplistic mode of transportation.
SOLICITOR: Well, I understand that you, as an elderly person, must pay a high premium.

And on a tangentially related note, Living dead take prize as oddest literary title The winner of the Bookseller magazine award for the year's oddest book title is the US volume, People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders - and What to Do About It, by Gary Leon Hill, which is said to have sold 15,000 copies.

To Cuddle a Mockingbird "A new survey for World Book Day [...] found that most readers would far rather read a novel that ends happily ever after. Pride and Prejudice was voted the happiest ending in literature, followed by To Kill a Mockingbird and Jane Eyre. In that spirit, therefore, I have begun rewriting great literature to bring it into line with popular sentiment"

An excerpr from Meg Cabot's new adult book, Queen of Babble.

From library activist Sandy Berman, Classism in the Stacks: Libraries and Poor People, and a very reasonable response, On Libraries and the Homeless.

More links coming in the not-so-distant future, now that I've fixed my internet.

Sign-up is open for the Get Cordy Laid ficathon. On the anime side of things, yuri_challenge is now open to claim a request. (Yuri=femmeslash, for the non-anime folk on my flist.)

Some icons, including HP fanart, and Libby Bray's A Great and Terrible Beauty books.

Meg Cabot posts a vid-lit of a day in her life as a writer.

Buffy and Angel, Five Lovers Cordelia Chase Could Have Totally Had, If She'd Wanted Them "Touch her again and I’ll kill you." Oddly enough (for one of my recs), all het.

Firefly, Serenity as Told By the Muppets More fan art than fanfic. Must be seen to be believed.

Grey's Anatomy, Addison kisslets "Kissing Meredith *was* to get back at Derek. If it were for her, it would have been Izzie, all blonde and pretty and competent."

QAF US, Why Alcohol and Justin Don't Really Mix “Hey,” he says... or rather, slurs, but since everybody else at the table is also slurring he figures this is no big deal. He holds his drink aloft, some pink concoction that Emmett bought on Round Whatever-The-Fuck, and continues, “Have I mentioned that these are really, really good drinks?”

SGA, Coup! Badfic challenge. "Rodney and Atlantis trade bodies and a fight for John's luv ensues. Rodney tries to figure out a way to get his body out while Atlantis finally figures out what a man can do." [...] "When John is summoned to an early-morning meeting, he's more than happy to leave his 2IC with his hangdog expression and another two hours worth of inventory, even though Elizabeth's got that weird tone in her voice that means 'problematic' but also 'kind of cool'."

SGA, More Than "The wall clock said it was 1:45 in the afternoon; he'd left for lunch at 1:00 and a quick bank run--which gave him half an hour before Carter started calling at mind-bogglingly annoying three and a quarter minute intervals. Then, he'd call Rodney who'd send in the Air Force, so John figured that in the interest of saving NORAD, the United States Air Force, the local FBI bureau, the Colorado Springs police force, and himself a terrifyingly humiliating public relations incident he should probably get out of this hostage situation on his own."

SGA, Mission Reports "As of right this moment, mission reports will include only details pertaining to the status of negotiated treaties, trade agreements, or possible ZPMs. All medical details will be filtered through Dr. Beckett. As far as the Atlantis mission is concerned, don't ask, don't tell has been replaced by I don't want to know!" Flashfic documentation challenge.

SGA, Plants Flashfic documentation challenge. Short and sweet Katie fic.

SGA, Program Results "Subroutine: Daedalus\engineering\alphashift\boardroom.exe" Hermiod is perplexed.Flashfic documentation challenge.

SGA, Executive summary of the 2,037th ICCAAS human population assessment. Carried out by the Standing Committee on Statistics and Research of the Interstellar Commission for the Conservation of Ancients and Ancient-like Species (ICCAAS) during the 29,856th Wake Cycle. [Translated from the Wraith.] Flashfic documentation challenge.

SGA, Twenty Four Hours With a Rodneysaur "Rarr!" Rodney said, which didn't reassure John, but spending the evening trapped in a room with a small bored dinosaur was probably not going to be much fun.

SN, kissing snippet "Happy birthday," Casey said, and stuck an envelope under Danny's nose.

Check out the Wilby Wonderful Fanfiction index, maintained by pearl_o!

Here's a Buffy-centric but widely applicable essay on writing fight scenes.

An interesting post on language and gender.

Between the Female Gen ficathon, I Saw Three Ships, and the SGA Badfic Summary Minificathon (which I have barely started to read), I have many, many recs. Some of them are as follows:

Angel, Three Vital Rules for Staying Stylish, Even (Especially) in a World Overrun by Monsters "Look, you might know ancient prophecies and demonic dialects, and you might know axe-blades and street-fighting kung fu moves, but *I* know clothes, okay?"

Dead Like Me, Ship of Dreams Because it's about Penny.

due South, Kowalski "Even when she'd first thought about divorcing Ray, she'd never considered changing her name. Part of that was practical-— she'd battled to get where she was, and people knew her as ADA Kowalski. Part of it was simple courtesy; her mother had always told her it was devastatingly rude to return a gift given in good faith. And partly, she felt she owed it to Ray."

Firefly, Catching Snowflakes on her Tongue "The snow can't feel," River says. "It's just a thing, doesn't feel at all, no how. Not like a girl."

Firefly, Daughters of Jerusalem River's toes are always cold. This is the way she likes them. She can feel each of them at the end of her feet, count them without looking. The press down on the metal floors of Serenity, they wiggle and skim the ground (it's not ground, but it is, it's her homeland, she remembers coming from here and everything before was a dream, in utero), and when she pulls them up to sit on the chair with her, she can see white spots on the bottom of them that fade again to red as she watches. White spots like stars. "When stars fall," she tells Mal, "they turn into toes." River/Mal, eventually.

Firefly, Making New "As Inara puts the kettle away, she hears someone moving from the bridge to the kitchen. The footsteps are quiet and firm, the easy stride of someone who knows the ship and their way through it, but who is being considerate of others sleeping."

Firefly Where Circles Begin "They say most men are a little bit sly, and it may be true," Zoe mused. "But I should've known no man who used to have that mustache could be a hundred percent upright."

Grey's Anatomy, Grey's Apocalypse "The world ends on a Saturday and the first George hears about it is when a nurse comes out of the cafeteria and she walks right into him without saying anything. He's all set to get indignant when he sees that she's crying and then he just feels bad, so he apologizes for getting in her way and then gets out of it."

Grey's Anatomy, Indecisive, Thy Name Is "Later, after bad Chinese food and too much tequila, George let himself be maneuvered into service as a body pillow. Meredith lay stretched out on the couch, her head on his lap, his hands playing in her hair. Izzie tossed kernels of corn at both of them from her position on the floor, leaning against George's left leg, his right propped up on the coffee table."

Grey's Anatomy Just a Daisy in the Shadow of the Sun "His mother taught him manners, taught him to be polite to women. You open doors for them and buy them dinner and pat their shoulder when they cry and you love them, even when they break your heart, because some girls can't help but do that. Pick up their books when they drop them, pull out their chairs, never make lewd comments, never let your eyes linger below their neckline, women have eyes, they have brains, they should be respected. George knows how to treat women, but he never gets them in the end."

Grey's Anatomy, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year "This is not hate-filled rage-baking, she thinks as she grabs another armful of ingredients from the cupboard. Nor is it panicky, stressed-out avoidance-baking. No, this is Christmas-morning-in-her-slippers-with-chocolate-baking; the oven is warming up the whole kitchen and everything smells homey and the early morning quiet is just perfect as she leans her elbows on the counter and licks the wooden spoon."

Harry Potter, Twenty Random Facts About Ginny Weasley "7. For most of her first year at Hogwarts Ginny was teased mercilessly by Vera Goldman and Henrietta Wainthropp because of her second hand robes and taped together books. By second year she had learned not to let bullies get to her. She had also learned the Bat Boogey Hex."

Harry Potter, three ficlets, The Ugly Duckling, Rumplestiltskin, and Beauty and the Beast "I don't want the second one free. I don't want either one," the Goblin said. "In fact, there are still twelve minutes to go...I'm going to tell you my name, and then you'll know it and the deal will be off."

Pirates of the Caribbean, Of Swords and Flowers "Bodies were buried feet pointing east, and soon Anamaria could point due east from any point in town. Jacques called her La Boussole, and soon she was betting the other children she could point due east even blindfolded. Children who took the bet and then claimed they had no compass and thus could not confirm whether she was correct woke up to fish in their beds the next morning. Anamaria did not take kindly to losing."

RPS, Illegal Zombie-Actor Cage Fighting "You're supposed to be the guy to call if an actor wants to learn to fight zombies." This is utterly insane and I know I'm missing a lot of the jokes, but way too funny, none-the-less.

Six Feet Under, Uncertainty Billy once told Brenda that there was no such thing as a candid photograph. He sat cross-legged in the center of their parents' bed, accentuating every few words by slapping one pajama-clad thigh. "Every human being, Bren – you and I and Mom and Dad and even Dr. M.-D.-P.-H.-D. Gareth fucking Feinberg is always being observed, and any attempt to construct a narrative in which any individual can divorce himself from the gaze of the other in some arbitrary fashion long enough to be considered candid, is an imposition of false consciousness and belongs on the scrap heap of outmoded art forms."

Slammerkin by Emma Donoghue, What D'Ye Lack? A drabble, Mary/Doll.

SGA, Acts of Contrition When the engines finally roar to life, Rodney McKay is not in the engine room, one fist victoriously upraised, clutching a wrench, scorch-marks on his fingers and coolant smeared across his cheek like a red badge of courage. He does not make any speeches, does not loudly proclaim his own genius, does not even offer his team a pithy, "Good work, people. Let's bring her home." When the engines start purring, when the Ancient warship Helios stirs and shudders like a cat stretching out after a ten-thousand-year nap, when the systems all start coming online at once and Rodney's crack team of highly trained scientists are in the engine room squealing like a high school pep squad, Rodney is down the hall in a utility closet.

SGA, An Aesthetic Solitary Thing "My people--" He paused again, shoulders tense, hands curled into white-knuckled fists. He was looking around at them, obviously waiting for the freak-out to come. John's pulse picked up and he was aware of the gun on his hip, but he held himself still. Rodney went on. "We can 'seed'," he made air quotes, "other races. We can pass for human." Cracktastic wingfic.

SGA, Dex In which this summary "OMG So Jon n Rodny want 2 go back 2 Lantis but sum EVOL aliens capture them! and make them make out and wear eyeliner and stuff!1! Will they EVAR get back home?!?! also, Ronin eats a cookie." becomes a partial comic, and Ronon is tricksy.

SGA, Spanish Melodies and Bones Rodney McKay/Laura Cadman/Katie Brown. Rodney looks around the empty corridor, then leans close to her and whispers. "Just because we happened to share a body once, Cadman, doesn't mean you have the right to, to," he flaps his hand between their bodies,"insinuate things."

SGA, Pull Back to Reveal Rodney/John/Ronon, A Canadian, a Satedan, and an American, in twenty steps. Exactly one week after Ronon arrived in the city, Rodney caught him standing shirtless outside Sheppard's quarters and panting. Envy trounced sensibility. "Very impressive," Rodney said. "Very muscley. And seriously, if you were trying to seduce one of the marines, or maybe Elizabeth I'd say you've got a, oh, I don't know, one in three shot? One in four if you get one of the heterosexual ones. But either way, a great initial move."

SGA, Under the Sea "You went to a frat party and tutored them in physics?" Morgenstern pulled out his chair and sat down and rubbed his face. "Of course you did." College AU! John the drunken princess! Rodney being... Rodney!

SGA, Mixing Memory and Desire “A pen?” Rodney continued. “Loose change? Scrunchies? That’s the best you could offer for me? I’m sure I’m worth much more than that on a competitive market, not to mention the fact that--ooh! Are those, what’s the word, powerbars? Is that the peanut butter flavor?”
John frowned. “Rodney, are you all right?” he started, but just then Rodney made a move for the shiny foil wrapper and John had to focus all his attention on placating the outraged Neerian, who refused to calm down and stop making explosive and most likely rude gestures until John proved that he had sufficient control over his slave by tying the piece of string around Rodney’s wrist. “You really do bring these things on yourself,” John said, as he led Rodney away.

SGA, Release Mechanism "Ronon was pretty sure it was weakening their bargaining position to stand here yammering all night. Anyone who called himself a warlord was going to notice that they had a slight issue with chain of command in this outfit, and for a people who demonstrated their prowess through the quality and quantity of the slaves they controlled.... Ronon was no diplomat, but it seemed to him that they should be taking steps to disguise the fact that there wasn’t anyone on this mission who could compel the KP sergeants to give them extra whipped cream on their sweet potato pie, let alone keep a slave in line."

SGA, In conclusion, John totally likes Atlantis best "As they're attempting to leave with their trade agreement--in the form of an enormous ark filled with painted, wooden representations of agreed-upon goods--the eldest of the four Ho'llan princes bursts into hiccupping sobs and clings to Sheppard, eyes huge and artistically red with grief at the loss of his true love."

SGA recap of 2x16, The Long Goodbye "Dude. Weir has a pimping big screen. She totally has her Playstation hooked up and plays Katamari Damancy all day while making important 'I'm working very hard' noises."

Sports Night, Imaginary Husbands of the African Savanna "One night, feeling punchy, Dana cut a picture of Joe Crede out of an old Sports Illustrated and taped it to the control room desk. Looking at him made her more confident in her producing abilities. His mild face and powerful home-run-hitting biceps had a calming effect. Natalie approved of Dana's addition to the control room décor. 'Your baseball husband should have a place of honor,' she said. Natalie, who had been loyal to Derek Jeter for as long as Dana had known her, understood baseball husbands. She understood, for instance, that it did not constitute polygamy to also have a basketball husband, a football husband, and a tennis husband."

Sports Night, I Will Be With You Again "1988 was the year Dan spent falling into bed with pretty nearly anyone, male, female, whatever, anyone who'd smile at him, anyone who'd laugh at his jokes. That was the year of the New Year's Eve party where he slept with, well, no, nobody slept, but anyway, slept with at least three of the girls there, never learning any of their names, not caring. And 1989 was the year when he was plagued by a painful, burning sensation, the year when he learned more than he had ever wanted to know about the nature of antibiotics." Six New Years' for Dan Rydell.

Then there's Fellowship of the Peep, which is LoTR, only more... marshmallowy.

From trull_sengar comes Amusing Typos from Church Bulletins "The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."

A New Yorker article on Mary Poppins: "In the midst of the celebrating crowd, it would have been easy to overlook the sixty-five-year-old woman sitting there, weeping. Anyone who recognized her as P. L. Travers, the author of the Mary Poppins books, could have been forgiven for assuming that her tears were the product either of artistic delight or of financial ecstasy (she owned five per cent of the gross; the movie made her rich). Neither was the case. The picture, she thought, had done a strange kind of violence to her work. She would turn the personally disastrous première into a hilarious dining-out story, with Disney as the butt of her jokes. But she had a premonition that the movie she hated was about to change everything for her. Writing to a friend, she remarked that her life would never be the same."

Horn Book's Narnia Chronicled has a series of articles and editorials, including the 1950's original HB reviews of the books.

Out and Ignored Why are so many school libraries reluctant to embrace gay teens? From School Library Journal.

Firefly/SGA, Of Mistletoe and Other Magic "Kaylee's got the mischievous look in her eyes of a girl who's been to the botany lab and's been spreading mistletoe all 'round 'Lantis, and she can't keep the grin off her face when a tiny but extremely peevish mob catches up with her." Complications ensue, Atlantis-style.

Fried Green Tomatoes, The Night Idgie Threadgoode Fought a Vampire in Alabama "Idgie Threadgoode. You been gone three days. No word, no news. You are not going to walk into my restaurant and tell me you've been fighting vampires."

Good Omens fan art here. Crowley, Aziraphale, and a chess board.

House, three snippets "So there's a *person* in Exam Two; that doesn't mean he's a *patient*. What if he's not actually sick? What if he's here because he skipped work last week to go golfing and now his boss wants a doctor's note? Then he's not a patient, he's just lazy."

House, In Gear "What?" House assumed as innocent a look as he could muster. "I just think we ought to christen the car." Slash.

SGA, Twenty Random Facts About Atlantis 1. There’s a working ZPM recharger in McKay’s lab. It was mislabelled as a broken Ancient hairdryer. They’ll find it one day. (But the idiot who mislabelled it will have been Wraithed by then.)

SGA, Kept By Ourselves In Silence and Apart McKay had complained bitterly from the moment they were taken prisoner until the first time they took him away. When they brought him back he was beat up and quiet. Ronon had asked him if he was okay. McKay had said: "No." and when Ronon came over to look at him he said: "Don't."

SGA, Ring Out the Bells Sora/Teyla "Sora bit into an Athosian fruit, red and firm-fleshed. The spurt of tartness shocked her. She caught Teyla's eyes across the table and licked the juice from her fingers. Her heart tripped over itself, racing."

SGA, untitled snippet, When John turned into a giant bug, he refused to leave his quarters.

SGA fan art for A Beautiful Lifetime Event.

Sports Night, Sixteen Random Acts
"Dana, we've got like 16 random acts of unpredictability taking place in the last two hours in professional sports. Why do you think it's impossible for us to have film on any one of these?"
"Well, Casey, seeing that it's us, that we're five minutes nineteen seconds short on the show, and that we're on the air in 11 minutes, I would assume that God or someone has ordained that it's impossible for us to have film on any one of those 16 .. whatever you just said."
"Eleven minutes? Natalie just called 10."
"Natalie's wrong."
"She's wrong?"
Dan joined them and tapped his watch with authority. "Natalie's wrong."

This one's for chaleur23. There's a new fanfic community, dedicated to hockey slash. 2mins4slashing. Too perfect.

5ideways is an awesome web comic (that seems to be more comic book than comic strip style in its storytelling than than the author's other project, Friendly Hostility) "Something went wrong the night I died." Has a similar sort of feel to a Neil Gaiman story.

On Brokeback Mountain, cowboy movies, and latent homosexuality, from The Guardian.

Joss whedon on the future of TV "Many people have asked me, "Joss, what is the future of television? What will we watch? And how will we watch it? Surely you must know, for you are wise, and slender." I usually smile and say nothing, because I wasn't actually listening to the question. But it's a good one, and I think it's time I let you in on a few highlights of Television-to-Be."

Discworld/LOTR, Partners in Crime, 1/? "A dwarf who liked a bit of excitement and didn't mind danger could go far in the Watch. Gimli Gloinsson was both."

Discworld/Smallville, Clex-in-Discworld, or, Disclexia: A Crossover "When Lex had graduated from the Assassins' Guild, he'd thought he'd never have to see Ankh-Morpork again. And yet here he was again, his shoes dissolving in its effluence, for no better reason than that Lionel had had another of his stupid whims and really, what was new?"

DS, The Eskimo Thing "I just want you to know, Benny, this is the last time I'm going on vacation with you." And anyway, it wasn't like griping was going to get them any less naked and tied to a tree in a clearing in Fraser's woods, on Fraser's own property, captives of a squat and naked tribe of previously undiscovered Eskimos.

Firefly snippet "Say goodbye to the old street that never cared much for you anyway / And the different colored doorways you thought would let you in one day"

Good Omens, Courting Disaster
The office party had been a disaster, even by Hell's standards.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Five things that never happened to Tommy 'Gnosis' Speck

Sandman Dream, deferred One of my favourite moments in the whole of Sandman is Delerium/Delight facing down Destiny in that hard-won moment of lucidity. This plays off it wonderfully with a near-perfect Delirium voice. "It hurts" indeed.

Sports Night/Muppets, Five Muppets Isaac's Pretty Sure He Never Hired "Just... don't hurt the pig, Casey. It's just not a smart plan."

SGA, The Second Time "The next time he was the angry one, still burning up from inside and fighting to keep it from showing, fighting the way he had been since he'd woken up able to form complete sentences."

SGA, Five Ways Laura Cadman Didn't Get Laid "To put it in American terms, you can't ask, and I can't tell."

SGA, Five Ways John Sheppard Didn't Keep it in His Pants "Do not *ever* tell anyone about this," John said sharply, giving the puddle jumper a stern glare.

SGA, Three Drabbles about Ronon Dex. Slash.

SGA Natural Aptitude John, Rodney, alien sex drugs... Hot and snarky, which really, is what much SGA (fanfic) is all about.

SGA, Militant Aliens try to make them do it. John/Ronon.

Good Omens fan art, Aziraphale.

From book_icons, Hitchhiker's Guide and Good Omens icons, and Harry Potter and Narnia icons.